I'm sick and tierd of this way of life.Sick and tierd of polarity
emotions.Sick and tierd of procastinating and being lazy.Sick and tierd of
being afraid to face evry day.Sick and tierd of JUST BEING AFRAID.Sick and
tierd of complaining.Sick and tierd of not doing anything about it or doing
it half way and just NOT succeeding.Sick and tierd of being addicted.Sick
and tierd of always wanting sex.Sick and tierd of desiring to smoke and
drink.Sick and tierd of being afraid to show my TRUE self to the poeple
surrounding me or even the poeple i DONT know.Sick and tierd of having to
deal with my screwed up family construct.Sick and tierd to HAVE TO PRETEND
being religious and following the religion in question.Sick and tierd of
hiding my self from my freinds.Sick and tierd of being judged.Sick and
tierd of hiding.Sick and tierd of judging poeple,positivly AND
negativly.Sick and tierd of judgment.Sick and tierd of feeling guilty for
my desires.Sick and tierd of finding wemen attractive.Sick and tierd of
finding men more attractive then me.Sick and tierd of feeling inferior AND
superior.Sick and tierd of polaritys.Sick and tierd of dealing with shit I
dont like.Sick and tierd of BEING OBLIGATED to go to school or/and to
work.Sick and tierd of HAVING TO be a slave,no matter the level,in the
system in order to survive.I'M SICK AND TIERD OF BEING SICK AND TIERD.Sick
and tierd of being afraid to express my self with my partner threw fear of
being wrong and being judged and feeling inferior "once more".Sick and
tierd of being afraid to express my self with my freinds threw fear of
judgment and being ridiculized.Sick and tierd of having images and pictures
and desires and looking for my pleasure while having sex with my
partner.Sick and tierd of thinking that i have succeeded to not have
images,pictures,desires and look for my pleasure while having sex with my
partner when really i am doing all of that,just at a lower stage,but still
am.Sick and tierd of fearing to have sex with my girlfreind because i know
that it will not be a fully true expression of both of us that is best for
both in respect,honesty and dignity.Sick and tierd of feeling abused or
feeling that i have abused.Sick and tierd of wanting to fight.Sick and
tierd of wanting my life to be a movie.Sick and tierd of wanting to
remember my life as "hard" in order to convince my self that im cool,when i
can't even handle the difficulties i'm allready facing.Sick and tierd of
wanting to be cool.Sick and tierd of wanting to "proove my self".Sick and
tierd of regretting my past,specially my really young ages,because i dont
remember my self being a cool kid,but a coward.Sick and tierd of seing my
self as a coward and somone that never accomplishes anything and that is
not independent.Sick and tierd of feeling week.Sick and tierd of feeling
strong next to the "week".Sick and tierd of seing my partner abused by her
mother.Sick and tierd of seing my partner having to take responsabilty for
shit she didnt do or cause,but thats is imminent in her life.Sick and tierd
of not even being able to take my own responsablities and feeling obligated
to help her out.Sick and tierd of hidin threw her.Sick and tierd of finding
helping her easier then facing my own shit.Sick and tierd not being able to
always speak the truth with her,my freinds and specially my parents.Sick
and tierd of keeping a baby that has many polarities,and that im too fuckin
greedy,self centerd and full of polarities my self to be able to deal with
him responsibly,honestly and do whats best for him.Sick and tierd of
keeping a grudge towards my brother and hating him for what he done and
what he may have done and what he may do or cause in the future.Sick and
tierd of being worryd about the present and specially the futur of his
babygirl.Sick and tierd of being angry at my dad for not being a "good
father".Sick and tierd of not being a "good son".Sick and tierd of not
helping my mom out.Sick and tierd of hearing my parents critsize me all the
time and critisize my partner,my brother and his partner,my other brother
and our freinds.Sick and tierd of my parents thinking that what they want
for us is whats best and what we do,even tho we really HAVE fucked up,is
shit.Sick and tierd of depending on my parents.Sick and tierd of having to
deal with what ever shit they would inflict to me,specially my father.Sick
and tierd of feeling OBLIGATED to hang out with my brother and feeling bad
if i dont even if he's a fuck up,and because of that dosnt realy have any
freinds.Sick and tierd of hearing him chill and loan money from poeple in
my surrondings.Sick and tierd of being stressed when he hangs out with my
freinds.Sick and tierd of seing my freinds change and hang out with poeple
that bring them no good.Sick and tierd of fearing that both my brothers get
arrested and fuck up their lives and the lives of the poeple around
them.Sick and tierd of my brothers robbing poeple.Sick and tierd of being
the middle brother and not being able to have any influence on their
irresponsable actions.Sick and tierd of being anxious about the futur with
my parter threw fear that we'd have to brake up someday.Sick and tierd of
not fearing being alone.Sick and tierd of poeple being hypocrites.Sick and
tierd of being anxious about my image.Sick and tierd of poeple using me for
their image and liking me or disliking me for my image.Sick and tierd about
poeple talking about nothing and having empty conversations with me.Sick
and tierd of poeple pushing me backwards instead of incouraging me to
change and do whats best for all and being a honest and responsable
person.Sick and tierd of fearing rejection and feeling bad when it
happens.Sick and tierd of being afraid of facing my boss and my previous
bosses as well as my previous school directors.Sick and tierd of not being
able to trully forgive my self because i dont stand my words.Sick and tierd
of falsly forgiving my self.Sick and tierd of not being able or to lazy and
to afraid to stand my words.Sick and tierd of being afraid and feeling bad
for it.Sick and tierd of JUST FEELING BAD.Sick and tierd of not being able
to directlly act on all the abuse going on in the world
(rape,poverty,murder,enslavment,famine,child beating,women beating,religion
abuse,man beating,nature killing,animal kingdom rape and destruction,etc.)
Sick and tierd of entertaing my self to forget my reality and the reality
of this crapy world we have accpeted and allowed and created.Sick and tierd
of poepel doing nothing about it and waiting for others to change and act
before them saying:why should I if he wont and if i wont change a
thing?;instead of taking responsability and at least trying to do
somthing.Sick and tierd of talking but not acting and not living my
words.Sick and tierd of not being able to do more.Sick and tierd of feeling
sick and tierd.In conclusion this life sucks.I need change and evryone
does.Most poeple are sick and tierd.I would say its time to change,but it
always have.I just havent yet,but im trying,i gotta try MUCH MUCH harder.
Just calm down, breathe in and stabilise yourself - realise that it's only your mind revealing itself to you, you taking responsibilty for you as all as you. This is a process - realising who we really are as equal and one as all that is here.
RépondreSupprimerTO BASSEM :
RépondreSupprimerSUGGEST
You should apply self-forgiveness to release all grudge, hate, past, etc. and to recognize it is you who has allowed tiredness/illness/emotions/feelings when others did something that reminded you of yourself
You should apply self-honesty while reading your phrases to recognize that it is you who has allowed this in you, and that blaming others, judging others, regretting your past or feeling bad for others, will lead you to the same illness/tiredness once and once again till you see that it is you the responsible again and the key to change the/your fucked up reality
If you recognize and accept this as what you did and supported, in responsability, none will be able to push you "backwards" nor affect you emotionaly. If you dont then youre going in the wheel of polarities again
Aren't you sick and tired of fearing yourself, of not supporting yourself, of 'betraying'/deceiving yourself? Take every single phrase of your text towards yourself.(in responsability)
If we want to act to stop the abuse in the world, it starts by HERE, IN EVERY MOMENT,why?, because all this fucked up reality also begun from HERE, at your house (family), at school (friends), at job (‘adults’), when you talk, when you write, when you communicate, etc, in every action you did you were supporting something. NOW…Step by Step.
Bassem.How can we be able to stop this big trouble and abuse, without taking self-responsability and self-honesty? If we don't WANT to understand the principle of equality or we're not willing to try to go in our process to stand as it, then we might be supporting/experiencing our mind fuck ups and what it creates in our world.Equality starts by recognizing yourself as life, and others equals to you, without making them guilty, without judging them & without feeling bad for them (the same for yourself, without judging, regreting or ‘feeling bad’ for yourself). So you take responsibility AS/FOR/IN you, it means you take responsability for ALL that is Here and which you have created.
RépondreSupprimerIf you sick and tired of others and your world …then you sick and tired of yourself (actually of your mind) because we've never tried to know and experience ouselves in honesty and responsibility.
How do you want to do 'more' for others, if you don't will to do something AS/FOR you? (you is part of others and of ALL)
Your MIND is sick and tired, and it makes you THINK that it is HARD to recognize that the only way is self-honesty, self-responsability, and that which is real is equality between all beings. Your mind is sick and tired to see that the physical will always push/lead you/us to recognize this and take responsibility for all.Your mind has been programmed to recognize this, systems of mind (ego, jealousy, grudge, hate, regret, fear polarities) have just been proyected on earth, making of earth a Hell for all, our mind is like the 'script' but we're the 'actors'….but systems will not last for long, because the physical will again bring us to this point . YOU AND I are experiencing this.
FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR ALLOWING THIS IN YOU(SO IN ALL OF US) THERE'S NO MORE DIRECT WAY TO ACT FOR THE FIRST STEP ,THAN THIS ONE. Stop putting the weight of your mind "on your back", and recognize you're HERE so you're real and youre an actor and speaker in this reality.
Our relationship……….We have accepted and allowed ourselves to entertain ourselves with our relationship, we're waiting the other to change before us, this is an ego relationship we've built where we judge each other and then expect something from each other, when in reality, we're just expecting something from ourselves (we procrastinate, then web lame the other for what we didnt do and we expect the other to do it).
RépondreSupprimerWe've been learning trough all this time, since we've both knew Desteni, about self-forgiveness , self-hoesty and equality, but we've just kept this as KNOWDLEGE and this(We) is(are) constantly suppressing us because we constantly contradict our mind, this makes a 'weight on our back' (all this judgment, past, memorizing, repeating, grudge, anxiety).
LETS BRING EQUALITY, SELF-HONESTY AND FORGIVENESS TO THE PHYSICAL, TROUGH OUR WORDS AND ACTIONS TAKING RESPONSABILITY FOR OURSELVES AND SO FOR EACH OTHER AND FOR ALL THAT WE PASS TROUGH (TOGETHER OR AS OURSELVES) ; This is what religions and beliefs have missed, they just become mind knowledge and suppression to control the masses, we believe mind to be real and so we miss a lot in reality. Let's bring honesty and forgiveness in responsibility to our actions, words and thoughts, to bring equality HERE and so we can built a SUPPORTIVE relationship, where we support ourselves in this process.
So don't feel bad for me or mad at my present , there are things I have allowed and supported in my life for which I have to take responsibility.
I am responsible for what I have created.
The best way to support ourselves right now is to realize this. Your REALITY and my reality are BOTH the SAME, we share it everyday, so….the SAME responsibility for ALL of us!