Little point of my fear of being alone

I realized while have to face myself that I am afraid to be alone.

.I have seen that in the reactions i have when my partner is not being
"honest".When that occurs I usually get irritated towards her and become
impatient and inconfortable within myself knowing that I'm not "safe"
anymore.I expect things from her so that I could ensure she will "stay with
me" and I use that "safety" as a "motivation" in my process.I fool myself
into depending on some one else and then blame them when I don't get what I
want from them.

-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create lack of trust
and lack of independency within myself.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect others to be
the directive of my life and to make evrything just perfect for me.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not to direct myself in
evry breath and to give directive of myself to someone or something
exterior to me.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myslef to inflict
dislike,disrespect,impatience,irritation,abusif thoughts,judgment and blame
onto someone when they don't give me what pleases me.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate and abuse
somone for profit of any kind.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create myself as a
person that abuses of life.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to "need" excuses and
motivations to become whats best for all or anything else actually.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself allowing myself to be addicted,manipulated and led by energie and mind created impressions\scenarios.
-I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beleive that my process of re-birth is not within me but external and that I could do it with someone rather then alone and sharing support with someone, wich is me completely deceiving me sens I'm lying to my self.
I forgive  my self for accepting and allowing myself not to have taken a firm stand for me and as what is best for all.