Living in the past

Not being in control of my emotions and lack of self-confidence were always a source of problems and frustration within me.
When something pop's up were i feel unconfortable,in danger,not in control or inferior,i usually rapidly and radically react in anger.There for,i often loose total control over my mind and sometimes even my body.I would blame these feelings onto another or onto the external source of them.Hence,totally escaping from my self,out of fear to actually face a situation and out of fear to compromize my image.
I forgive my self for accepting and allowing my self to hold on to memories and definning my self according to them.
I forgive my self for accepting and allowing my self to think that i cannot change because i cannot change the past,and the past is who and what i am.This is not true,sens im in constant movement and constant change.Defining my self according to a moment,a picture or a memorie would meen that im not here on earth,that i am not alive,that im in fact living in the past,into my mind.
I forgive my self for accepting,allowing and encouraging my self to live in the past and to define my self according to it.
I forgive my self for acccepting and allowing my self to react to a situation according to my past,memories,feelings and judgments.
I forgive my self for accepting and allowing my self to give in to my desire to hurt poeple when led by this energy flow of anger.
I forgive my self that i have accepted and allowed my self to blame others in order not to take responsibility for my actions,feelings and reactions.
I forgive my self for accepting and allowing my self to use my past as an excuse not to become who i want to be.
I forgive my self for accepting and allowing my self to use my past as an excuse of how dirty,greedy and abusif i can be.Blaming my past instead of takin self responsibility.
I forgive my self for accepting and allowing my slef to judge,diminish and be a shamed of my self because of the definition i give to myself according to my past.
I commit my self to not let my self brought down because of my past,to recognize when im reacting according to memories and to to stop those reactions,to give my self a moment in situations of conflict,to learn to stop talkin when i need a moment,to stop taking things personnal and blaming others,to take responsibility for my actions and there consequences,to learn to be alone,to forgive my self step by step for evrything ive done or that happend to me or that ive participated in,to maintaain stability when i feel im goin to blow up,to be strict and disciplined with my self.
I commit my self not to be agressif,not to blame others,not to be judgmental,not to allow myself to loose control,not to react according to memories,not to hold grudges,not to use my past as excuse to anything and not to give up on my self.